Where The Water Never Ends

I came back to this, once twice three times, and it keeps growing with every read.
this is a poem I could get lost in...
now, when the moon is full, I will revisit these words, a beautiful write...
your Proprietress

I very much like your etheral poem. It captures the mind with its fine imagery. I do have one suggestion:

In this line:
in the dark carpet above
change carpet to canvas or some other word as carpet gives off the image of being beneath our feet and you want the imagery to suggest over our heads. IMHO. This is just my opinion and suggestion, it is your poem so do as you think best.

An excellent poem!

always, Cat

i like the descriptive
- the 'large white gazing ball' hanging 'upon nothing'
and the 'myraids of crystals' piercing 'black pillows ... where the water never ends'

love the alliteration in
'silver sprayed twinkling shine
staining the glassy sea'

i do agree with cat with the lines
'in the dark carpet above
billowing canvas'
- i like 'in the dark billowing canvas above'

- and the title
... a little bland and obvious (imho i stress)
how about something like
'where the water never ends'
or 'in the never-ending waters' ??

love judy

I do know what Cat and Judy mean
but I actually enjoyed the feeling of weightlessness
of going neither up nor down
that certain line gave me.
I feel that the contrast gives the poem an interesting texture.
just a thought that came to me when reading the new comments,
I am looking forward to your opinion and will love the poem either way! :)