scribbler
Apr 10, 2019

WHERE PHOTONS SKIP

I walked into a mirrored box
and there and there and there I was
images entrapped without locks
reflections bouncing without pause.

Reflections stacked up to eternity
every one an exact duplicate
each one a copy of just me
as if from an old template.

But what of the spaces in between
all those reflections in the glass;
might they hold something there unseen
where the waves of photons pass?

Each of those immeasurable spaces
between each ephemeral me
woven into the innumerable places
might they be a different reality ?

Reality where death does not abide
nor wars exist at all
where sins and sinners can not hide
where evil has no place at all?

Look about at all the "men"
and each time that I chance to blink
Does time advance or simply freeze?
Does one image give me a wink?

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

zebra

An interesting idea for a poem
Heres my problem with it Its so lite it doesnt take me anywhere
Like a weak twilight zone This is a poem of the surreal

it ends: might they be a different reality
where age doesn't reveal wrinkled faces?

Its just my opinion so forgive the brute honesty but you haven't made me care
With all the shit that goes on with being human, the constant stress, disappointments, distortions , life death loneliness or just the challenge of remaining sane in this world,wrinkled faces appears so vacant

The language is weak to me so it has little torque musicality aesthetics

EX:

Cyclones
of ecstatic dust
and ashes whirl
crusaders
from hallucinatory citadels
of shattered glass
into evacuate craters

“Nocturnal cyclops”
“Crystal concubine”

,,,
I find the language in this example entertaining and enticing to my ear like a great strategy of chromes or melodic's ie the theater of language
I think its about ones willingness to work hard To have standards and be willing to suffer if need be to make it zing

Best Z

S

I'm aware this one lacks depth. But i just jotted it down late at night. It would take a much longer rewrite to really cover the idea of spaces between reflections in a single pane of glass. I might attempt it at a later date. I DO appreciate your blunt honesty.....stan

S

A few personal reversals have me a bit down at the moment. Happened before and will likely happen again. I'll just keep trying to write my way out of it lol