Tyler Jakeway
Aug 18, 2023
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week August 13th to August 18th 2023.

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When My Demons Awoke

When my demons awoke,
they were very compelling when they spoke,
they weren't acting with stereotypical evil,
they felt rejected and feeble,
but in some ways they made me stronger,
they took their revenge in the form of ponder.

This made their demands seem meek,
manifested versions of me I perceive to be weak,
they had a different kind of power,
I cast them aside when life turned me sour.

When my demons spoke,
something deep inside me awoke,
I didn't catch these lessons at first,
I learned that I wasn't cursed,
I was struggling for air,
and they held me under not because they didn't care,
they were showing me that I must surrender the outcome.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: OR, USA

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Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "When My Demons Awoke" explores the concept of inner demons and their impact on the speaker's life. The poem effectively conveys the idea that these demons, despite their perceived negative qualities, can actually provide strength and valuable life lessons.

One suggestion for improvement is to provide more specific and concrete examples or imagery to support the ideas presented in the poem. This would help to create a more vivid and engaging experience for the reader. Additionally, consider incorporating more varied and precise language choices to enhance the overall impact of the poem.

Furthermore, the poem could benefit from a clearer structure or progression of ideas. Consider organizing the poem into distinct stanzas or sections that build upon each other, allowing the reader to follow the speaker's journey more easily.

Overall, "When My Demons Awoke" is a thought-provoking exploration of inner struggles and personal growth. By incorporating more specific imagery and refining the structure, the poem has the potential to further captivate and resonate with the reader

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

RoseBlack

I like the premise of this and your honesty. Good flow and use of rhyme as well.