lovedly
lovedly
Sep 24, 2018

When in Loneliness think of me

When in Loneliness think of me

In the loneliness
solitude of time
just think of me
a friend of thine
upon my shoulders
lay your head and weep
if you wish to instead
and
when your tears flow dries
you will then know
how loneliness too also flies
and
a smile shall come upon your face
as when a lonesome stranger
like me the face you try to trace
in the mirrors of time
and
the shadows of life
when ever you are ever in strife
think about me and my lonely life

I rest upon shoulders still alive
none wants to carry me you bet
there where the end has yet
to me finally lay to rest

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

More from this author

Comments

IRiz

IRiz

6 years 7 months ago

The face you try to trace in the mirrors of time
The line is great, love it.

lovedly

we must remember
when we were young
it smiled as a
ROSE
now to achieve that kind of satisfaction
many times in front of a mirror we have to
pose
to see that one time semblance
of a once again budding rose
I suppose

how did I this compose
do your verdict
kindly
dispose

IRiz

I think you have a good poem here.
Place it in the stream
But let it grow a little
and then trim.
Irene
Riz
Is
Happy
To read Lovedly's lines.
He is an artist! His poems are neat
like webs of a spider, like kisses of bride,
like morning that always arrives in time
Rain or Shine.

IRiz

I think you have a good poem here.
Place it in the stream
But let it grow a little
and then trim.
Irene
Riz
Is
Happy
To read Lovedly's lines.
He is an artist! His poems are neat
like webs of a spider, like kisses of bride,
like morning that always arrives in time
Rain or Shine.

S

I enjoyed this but think the last 2 lines......hmmmm.....perhaps you tried to pack too much meaning into too few words? But it was an enjoyable read with a good transfer of emotional content......stan

Sparrow

Just loved this new you branching out to Bardic prose, Hey that sounds good don't it???
Just a small thing in the line:-when your tears flow dry..
Tears cannot flow dry, lol, it has to be "Dries" not dry if you see what I mean, Tears are always wet.
Hey what's with me being correct all of a sudden..
You take care and a great write from you.
Yours as always, Ian ..

Sparrow

BB, Bravo Bard, Take care out there and know we are watching you lol,
Yours as always, Ian ..

lovedly

keep watching
it helps my BP rising
lol BB
NEW NAME

BB =BROAD BAND
BRAVO BARD OF BB

R

compy packed up drowned
in the ATLANTIC

A fish caught it
transformed me into
ROSYME
ONCE LOVEDLY

Sparrow

Have you been laying in the sun far to long without the correct Factor cream, I suggest that you be more careful.
It can shorten your life and you could get cancer.
Take care young bard, I would have chosen a better name though lol something like Williemwicklesphere,
I am not sure if this is spelt rite but it is Africans for the great Bard ..
Take care and I will see your new life form, Yours Ian ..

Sparrow

Canadian relatives, My wife had a Sister in Red Deer Alberta, and of course Brother in law and a few others that we talk to sometimes, why did you ask about this ??
Yours Ian T

lovedly

loneliness has been thrust

I thought this will help those who were in 2010 just learning to compose poems

thanks friends this may make you SMILE
but perhaps