You can only see through open eyes.
Don't let your eyelids be your disguise,
And words float around in your tongue,
But you won't spit them out cause your afraid they'll run.
But your legs stop working when you work them too hard
And your mouth won't work unless you disregard.
All those words that they throw at your head,
All the tears you cry when you’re in your bed.
You can only see with open eyes,
So keep them open and you'll find some lies.
Aug 16, 2018
What You Can See, But Won't
About This Poem
Last Few Words: the hardest thing i had about this poem was the title, so if there are any suggestions and or methods you use to make an appealing title. thank you for reading.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Scooby
you have a very strong message in this poem...it's true that many a times we just ignore things by closing our eyes or looking the other way.....
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