She used to fuss at him about
muddy boots and sawdust on the couch
how he forgot to take the garbage out
and hugs so strong that she'd say ouch
His hunting stuff strewn all around
(except when it was time to fish)
too oft he'd chase a baying hound
when calm and quiet was her wish
All those evenings by the fire
he'd scribble out his silly lines
about nature, loss and hot desire
when, with her, he should be sipping wines
Sweat stains on his favorite chair
watching the season's college game
the way he'd sniff her fresh washed hair
a life lived, by the most, untamed
Now she has her neat clean home
no games on and quiet as a mouse
no scraps of uncompleted tomes
not one thing about which she might grouse
Although she now has all her way
she still remembers how she cried
on that dark and dreary day
when her loving poet died
Comments
Be careful...
what you wish for. I liked everything about this one. As per usual, the rhythm and pacing were great, with just a couple of little bobbles.You know I love the themes you come up with. Title is ok, and the beginning and ending is right on the money. I think I might have done a little different with a few lines, but overall, a good work.
1] I would have written; but with her, he should be sampling wines
2] I think you forgot the [d] on the end of live[d].
I would hope that she did have the sense to tell him how much she cared about him before he was gone.
Good story as always, ~ Gee
Hi Gee
Thanks for such kind comment and suggestion (I'll fix typo now) ...........stan
Stan, Stan,
I thinketh the workshop
did do you harm
I like this a lot,
but I tripped in the middle of lines.
the ending seem just fine.
why'd you cut off sentences,
or was to save time,
maybe it was to rhyme
don't mind me, i think i loss my mind
Eddie
...
Hi Eddie
Most shops require me to think whick strains brain and results in headache lol.I'll look back over the middle stuff and see what I can do with it. Thanks for the visit................stan