Crimson sunlight, through windows at six
Inspires ideas, please let my future be bright
Music on; showered; dressed, and news channel one
No excessive spate: a sprightly daily fix
The hope to cope, with life is helped
By music and people; food, daydreams and wine
Birds when they sing: no need for a clock
Planning a meal – fried duck in a wok
Soup of the day, on the day I get paid
Reading, writing, ambitious plans to be made
Looking up at the sky, awaiting the stars
I’m thankful for life, knowing I’ll die
Knowing I’m here, and not knowing why
The wonderment of wonder, deep thoughts in many bars
Time spent thinking and drinking: much money plundered
My niece, nephew, farther and brother
And of the upmost importance: my wonderful mother
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem, "What Gets Me Through the Day," demonstrates a strong grasp of imagery and rhythm. The use of everyday elements like "Crimson sunlight, through windows at six" and "Music on; showered; dressed, and news channel one" effectively grounds the poem in reality and makes it relatable to the reader.
However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of meter. While some lines flow smoothly, others, such as "The hope to cope, with life is helped" and "Time spent thinking and drinking: much money plundered," disrupt the rhythm due to their varying syllable counts. Maintaining a consistent meter throughout the poem can enhance its musicality and readability.
In terms of content, the poem successfully conveys a sense of gratitude and wonderment towards life's simple pleasures. However, it might be more impactful if the poem delves deeper into why these elements (music, people, food, etc.) are so important to the speaker. Providing more specific examples or anecdotes could add more depth and emotional resonance to the poem.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from more careful attention to punctuation. For instance, the line "My niece, nephew, farther and brother" seems to contain a typographical error ("farther" instead of "father"). Also, the use of colons and semicolons appears somewhat arbitrary and inconsistent. Ensuring correct and consistent punctuation can improve the clarity and flow of the poem.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Hello Poet,
I really liked these lines:
The hope to cope, with life is helped
By music and people; food, daydreams and wine
I liked them because they feel so inviting. the end of the poem felt abrupt.
*happy holidays, Cat
Thanks. Yes, the ending was
Thanks. Yes, the ending was abrupt, but I wanted to end with the contradicting symmetry of the most important thing: what caused my being on this planet - my mum.