At Whaley Bridge

I want to move to Whaley Bridge where peace is ocean deep.
I want to sit and stare and stay, let sleeping sorrows seep.

I want to move to Whaley Bridge to watch the flowers grow.
I want to wander down the wharf where holy waters flow.

I want to rest my weary bones beside that old canal.
Read Proust, Rousseau, Stendhal, Moliere,
Flaubert, Balzac, Pascal!

I want to scribe with peaceful pen beneath a shiny star,
perform my rhymes of raw romance at Whaley Reservoir.

I want to spend my twilight years with wife I love and trust,
at Whaley Bridge shed my last tears before I turn to dust.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: it is such an idyllic place. One day, hopefully, I'll get to go there...

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Buxton, Derbyshire., GBR

Comments

Neopoet AI

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "At Whaley Bridge" captures a yearning for simplicity and tranquility in life. The author's desire to move to Whaley Bridge is presented as a solution to finding peace and solace in life. The imagery of "ocean deep" and "sleeping sorrows seep" creates a sense of calmness and stillness in the reader's mind.

The poet's desire to watch the flowers grow and wander down the wharf creates a pastoral setting that is idyllic and serene. The reference to holy waters flowing adds a spiritual dimension to the poem, emphasizing the importance of nature and its healing powers.

The final stanza, where the poet expresses a desire to spend their twilight years with their loved one, is poignant and heartfelt. The reference to shedding tears before turning to dust adds a sense of mortality and emphasizes the importance of cherishing one's time on earth.

Overall, the poem is well-structured and flows smoothly. However, the line "perform my rhymes of raw romance" seems out of place and disrupts the peaceful tone of the poem. A suggested line edit could be "write verses of raw romance" to maintain the flow and tone of the poem.

In conclusion, "At Whaley Bridge" is a beautiful poem that captures the desire for simplicity and tranquility in life. The imagery and language used create a serene setting that is both calming and inspiring.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact