Was it so simple
To wipe me from your life,
Like dust from a shelf?
To erase the memories
Of our enchanting moments
Like a pencil mark on a paper?
To fracture my heart into countless pieces,
Until not even a shard remained
While silent rivers
Flowed down my cheeks?
To make me feel
Like my lungs
Once steady sails of breath,
Now caught in the tempest's grip?
Was it so effortless
To depart without farewell?
Jun 27, 2024
Was it easy?
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem effectively conveys a sense of deep emotional pain and betrayal. The use of vivid imagery, such as wiping dust from a shelf or erasing a pencil mark on paper, creates a strong visual impact. The repetition of questions throughout the poem emphasizes the speaker's disbelief and hurt. Consider exploring more varied imagery or metaphors to further enhance the emotional depth of the poem. Additionally, experimenting with different line breaks or stanza structures could help create a more dynamic flow and add to the overall impact of the piece.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact