Valentine Presents

For Valentine this year
I want to raise one question:
How does a miserly poet attain the
love of his lady?
By writing love poems
that would make her half smile
and half cry? No, I’ve done that;
it’s a waste of time.

In fact, writing love poems
would be worse than giving nothing.
I fear, poetry is held in low esteem;
Sure, she may praise one’s poem,
but inwardly think of it as “cheap.”
Friends, you can trust me: girls hanker
for expensive presents.
Therefore, she would hate my offerings….

Should I intend to break up with my girl
to save myself the expense of a Valentine’s gift,
I would present her with a burlap gown,
a braided belt of straw, a bottle
of Head ‘n Shoulder hair shampoo . . . .
Ladies, I’m teasing;
you deserve much more--
Let me fetch my empty wallet.