Rula
Rula
Oct 24, 2022

Under depression

Autumn falls,

my thought
shatters,
scatters,
blows,

October leaves .

Please find more on my Instagram account
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

About This Poem

Last Few Words: It's been a while . I appreciate any and every comment. How do you like the twist in the last line.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and

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More from this author

Comments

Geezer

no trouble discerning the mood of this one, as your title leaves no room for debate. I understand the feel of it, because I often feel depressed at the change from bucolic summer to the approach of winter. I think that the spareness of the lines and the tapering of them to the end brings a bit more emptiness to the feel. Good job of bringing that out here with very few words.
~ Geezer.
.

Rula

Rula

2 years 6 months ago

and thank you so much for coming to this little thought rather than a poem. Í'm happy you got the mood here though I admit it's not about me but rather about a close friend of mine.
Hope she and soon shall overcome this phase soon.

Lavender

Hello, Rula!
So good to see your poetry! I agree with Geezer's comments. Also, I felt that "leaves" used as the last word in your poem had extra depth in meaning - as a departure in some way. Very quiet.
Thank you,
Lavender

lovedly

Autumn leaves
but gradually
when you are depressed
think of the bare tree deserted by every leaf
till winter comes and goes
it then snows

let it be so
you just participate
another fresher golden leaf
as spring springs in

O lalalalaaaa

Rula

Always great to hear from you and I must say a good piece of advice that you've just offered here. I'll make sure my friend know.
Thank you for your great words.