scribbler
Jan 17, 2020
This poem is part of the contest:

JANUARY CONTEST

(Read More...)

TWO WAY VISION( JANUARY CONTEST)

New years is a couple weeks gone by
and January thaw is fading fast
heralded by wind tossed cobalt sky
which soon will bring an icy blast.

Artificial knees allow this stroll
yet still ache (and always will)
but I take to this wooded knoll
overlooking a little rill.

I spy the chair which I left here
a year or two, at least, ago
one summer when this land was sere
and weeds even refused to grow.

I brush leaves off the rusted seat
then sit down to take a rest
far from any house or street,
the type place which I like best.

I've visited this spot for years
initially with many friends
but all the time and all the tears
have shown how my story ends.

But I push such from my mind.
Today at least I'm still around
and able to leave fond trails behind
seeking the ones newly found.

Like all new trails life goes on
all with choices not yet made.
So its time to turn my back upon
those where tracks are already made
and I forge on toward my final glade.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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More from this author

Comments

weirdelf

just didn't grab me, I started skimming after the third verse thinking "just another pastorale".
Sorry.

weirdelf

it sucks, eh!
But I have recaptured the thrill of critique and that should help.

M

Stan! Has been a year or two since I've talked to you

Still love your writing and I am so out of it as far as writing goes

I don't
really know how I ended
up in here when time was
once upon
that time or two ago

Hope all is well and upon wondering how the Aussie poets were doing it did not take me long to read the responses to see. Hope to hear from you
Mona

S

I liked this one, it lets us back on the great trails you have made.
Just a couple of easy things to sort:-

Stanza 4 line 4

the type place which I like best.
(maybe an OF in there to make sense)

Then we go to the last Stanza
which maybe should be 4 lines, not 5 lol,

Like all new trails life goes on.
all with choices not yet made.
So its time to turn my back upon
those where tracks are already made
and I forge on toward my final glade.

Great to see you wander again young man,
Yours, as always, Ian