Of Two Minds

She loves me, then she loves me not
She soothes me; she uses what she has got
She holds me then she lets me go
She shrinks away then she grows

She tells me then she says nothing
She is bold, and then she is blushing
She tolerates me, then makes me go
She smiles then her tears start to flow

each one of us is dealt a hand
when an ova meets a sperm
this, well before we're taken form;
our story's written on that strand

that commands our hair be brown
or our eyes be green;
our stature tall and lean,
or short and round...

Her mania infects me
I try following her lead
At first, she wants to love me
Then wants to make me bleed

I love her when she loves me
Fear her wrath at times
When she goes off the rails
doing lovely crimes

Why can't her demons recognize
That I really care
I try to understand
But I only can beware

She’s a tree in a hurricane
It’s a marriage insane inane
She, we need to grow true and see
Neither need consider us “we”

They look at us as both evil
Till they see us shine as angel
When they know we go either way
Life is a continuous sway

I think I’ll write a page
Or maybe twenty two
Have a couple beers and rage
A three day drunk in which to rue

It’s riding wild horses
Roughshod with no reigns
Wind flowing in my hair
blood courses through my veins

But then the skidding halt
I brace now for the crash
Depleted and dejected, low
Flames of passion turn to ash

I love him but I hate him
Kiss his face and then I stab him
He makes me smile, he makes me scream
Nothing in between

I run away but then I miss him
I go back but then I'm trapped
His hugs are simply the best
Don't touch me unless you want slapped

Some days I gazed at her
I see she lacks difficulty concentrating and remembering things
On other days she seems optimistic and longs to spend all her time with me
If you asked me which side I love, all is fair in love and war

Her words filled my heart on days too heavy and sad
Yet I know it’s the self-doubt speaking
The days when feelings of emptiness linger in the house
That is when I raced to embrace her and tell her my love for her would never change.

She was lost in a world I was not in,
Something my heart ached to see,
There are no regrets about the sides I saw,
As every partnership has a flaw,

I dreamt of what we could have been,
Different from what I have seen,
She will always be in my heart,
Even though we are worlds apart.