Mr joghe
Mr joghe
May 16, 2024
This poem is part of the challenge:

05/24 Ode To A Service Hero 🏆 Winner

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A Tribute To The Hero

The guard that attended to us
Stood in combat to defend us
In death’s dark desert wild
Where delight abate
I’ve missed him like a music.

Through dust of conflict and battle flame
His knightly virtue proved
His memory hallowed in the land he loved
Where death is sitting
All skill, knowledge and powers
And the smile upon his cheerful faces
I’ve missed him like a music.

By day and night
To bear the people in his heart
His children sang his songs:
In fields so broad
Some duties may fulfil
And I will ask for no reward
Except to serve thee.
From East and West their voices sweetly blended
With the souls he loved.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Osun, NGA

Favorite Poets: William Wordsworth

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Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "A Tribute To The Hero" conveys a heartfelt homage to a brave guard who sacrificed his life to protect others. The imagery of standing in combat, facing death's darkness, and being missed like music evokes a sense of honor and loss. The repetition of "I've missed him like a music" reinforces the emotional impact of the tribute.

The poem effectively captures the valor and selflessness of the hero, highlighting his knightly virtue and dedication to his people. The references to his cheerful face, his love for the land, and the songs sung in his honor all contribute to a vivid portrayal of his legacy.

However, there are areas where the poem could be strengthened. Consider refining the structure and flow to enhance the overall coherence and impact of the tribute. Additionally, exploring more varied and nuanced language could deepen the emotional resonance and bring out the complexity of the hero's character and sacrifice.

Overall, "A Tribute To The Hero" is a poignant reflection on courage, sacrifice, and

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

I'm thinking that you are speaking of a soldier who came to your aid in your country.
You have missed him like a music, is an odd way of putting it, and I can only assume that
you are saying that you miss him as one would miss hearing a favorite song.
I am anxious to know if my assumptions are right. ~ Geez.
.