c lynn brooks
Apr 28, 2020

Trial By Fire

Like shadows passing through a dream
energy flowing in a steady stream
they are haunting every move I make
and stealing every breath I take

Not wanting my lead to follow
easier to hold your fears than swallow

You have become my judge and jury
guilty by unfair comparison surely

Gaining entrance to where I need to be
it is not any easy task for me
for you are the jailer and you hold the keys

I see a heart placed on a pyre
why make a heart suffer a trial by fire

About This Poem

Last Few Words: very cryptic read into it what you will and you may just be right

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north carolina usa, USA

Favorite Poets: Leonard Cohen

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

C

thnaks for the read not understanding your comment though

Geezer

Geezer

4 years 12 months ago

the two-by-two lines of rhyme. I don't often do it, because it is hard to maintain for any length of time. The one three line thought, didn't feel out of place at all. I can appreciate the theme, because I have your leave to make of it what I will. I do believe that it is understood and consequently no need of further elucidation. We all have those emotions and if we don't, we should at least once, to better understand; before becoming the jailer of another. ~ Geezer.
.

Gracy

Gracy

4 years 12 months ago

What a haunting poem, Lynn. You've written those shadows into a lovely rhyming piece. I have no crits, just hope you have better dreams in the future. I sometimes have nightmares and even grind my teeth...
Happy dreams. Enjoyed.

Simon

Simon

4 years 12 months ago

I read and read over because I can't just get enough of it especially rhymes and the arrangements of words I just wish I could keep going on and on, it's a very nice one for me because lean alot from it thanks for the poem Brook.