scribbler
Sep 09, 2012
This poem is part of the workshop:

Mindful Memorable Freeform: The Challenge

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TIGER'S STRIPES ( memorable free form #2)

A curtain of false civility
like tall grass hides the predator
whose ripping teeth are veiled
by lips of greed
all the better to stalk
profit

Don't mistake the gleam in laughing eyes
for a cheerful twinkle
humor masks the mirth of sizing up
an unsuspecting prey

Those who take him for a friend
taken in by feigning of good will
are merely meat in waiting
ear tagged for the cold locker
a meal for when greed's hunger
makes him drool
don't be that fool

So when you see him stalking halls
of banks, dealerships or shopping malls
don't ever make direct eye contact
for the tiger always is......
a tiger

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Major rewrite of an oldie

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

S

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I may have missed the mark because the tiger is supposed to be compared to those bankers and salespeople who smile and smile while all they really care about is your money, not you. I'll let this gather some more moss before editing................stan

judyanne

but I’d change ‘like’ in the second line to ‘as’

I love the alliteration and the metaphor in ‘merely meat in waiting’

I don’t think this needs any editing Stan. I think you have nailed memorable here. The poem has a really good rhythm about it – that doesn’t spoil the supposed not-to-have-rhythm if you know what I mean – the rhythm you have when you’re not having rhythm lol - and it somehow lends to the theme - don't ask me how... it just has a build up about it or something

and too – it doesn’t matter that Beau ‘got’ politicians and people in power as your theme – that’s just another aspect of the same face as the bankers and salespeople – they all smile and smile while all they really care about is what they can profit from you -

just one of the subtexts you unwittingly write lol

great title

love judy
xxx

S

When I do something and even You can't figure out why it's good , Then you know it was by accident......or...was...it? lmao. I'm glad this blind pig stumbled up on an acorn..............stan

Rula

Rula

12 years 7 months ago

and that's a perfect simile make it memorable indeed.
I too loved the title as it adds to the whole scene

Perfect opening and closing verses . Much enjoyed.