How can you say you care when you don't spare me a thought
I thought our love would never change who knew it could be bought
You spend your time on video games, you hide and don't get caught
I spend my hours with my mind painted of you, you think i cant be taught.
You say there no reason to doubt but i can find a lot.
I doubt you truly love me when you don't spare me a thought.
May 01, 2021
The thoughts, feelings, actions.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Scooby
Nice work may I suggest you write in stanzas
example
How can you say you care
when you don't spare me a thought
I thought our love could never change
who knew it could be bought
and so on line breaks are a substitute for commas
Nice rhyme.
Could be song lyrics.... from a band like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
I would think this would be a great Spoken Word piece.