Sheddie
Sheddie
Oct 20, 2023

Things of the Old

The things of the old, ancient,
Craftily established with mastery and splendour,
Artifacts so genuine, refined in utmost glory,
Those hands, built from the wisdom of knowledge
Bringing vivid imaginations into light

The things of the old, ancient,
Activated, graced from graces of the creator,
From high pyramids oozing luxury,
Through the stars that worship on silvery statues,
The old lives in tapestries of wonders,
Overwhelming the senses of the natural man

The things of the old, ancient
Age-long, forever anew, abandoned but eternal
The milkers cannot decipher, The new world researching for ages to come,
Old is gold, live every memory staying fresh,
Hop alive in trinkets and rings of kings, relive their messages,
For they are always with us, those heroes,
Masters, seers of the raw presence of knowledge .

The things of the old, ancient
Touch them not, no toys,
Rather revere their originality
For they exalt our future

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria , NGA

Favorite Poets: Niyi osunadare

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Things of the Old" explores the significance and enduring nature of ancient artifacts and knowledge. The imagery and language used effectively convey a sense of reverence and admiration for the past. The repetition of the phrase "The things of the old, ancient" creates a rhythmic pattern that adds to the poem's overall structure.

One suggestion for improvement would be to provide more specific examples or descriptions of the ancient artifacts being referenced. This would help to create a more vivid and tangible image for the reader. Additionally, consider varying the sentence structure and length to add more variety and flow to the poem.

Overall, "Things of the Old" captures the essence of the theme and conveys a sense of awe and respect for the past. With some further development and refinement, this poem has the potential to create a stronger impact on the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact