Texas Tumbleweed

the wild West Texas wind
seduced a little tumbleweed
says you look like you need a friend
huffed and puffed and she was freed

she tumbled from town to town
caught up in the summer breeze
she's seems nowhere to be found
another flirt and just a little tease

will she ever settle down
let someone hold her tight
maybe she will stick around
give things time to work out right

little tumbleweed caught against a shed
the Texas winter wind chills to the bone
she reflects on the life she has led
all the misery, she has known

West Texas wind, carry your ass
your no friend of mine
go find some one else, to harass
I got a life to find

I'll always hear the howl
of the wind calling my name
saying it has been a while
come out, I got a new game

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Comments

very nice

very nice, I really like the ending.

saying it's been a while
come out, I got a new game

They always call us back out

Hippie!!

Oh my friend how are you. I stumbled upon some things here not bad but maybe to tweak her up a bit. This line here:

all the misery, she's has known

(all the misery she has or she's) one or the other as you got double there

Is this about your friend and you do not have to answer if you do not want. I miss your writing and wishing you well.

Blessings
Your friend Mona
xoxoxo

Thanks Mona

I will correct that mistake. I read it over and over and stilled missed it. Yes it is about you know who. We met in West Texas. That's where Holly grew up. All three sisters were as wild as the West Texas wind. She loves the poem. First poem I wrote since just before Neopoet went down. My computer crashed and I was offline a month. And I write very little when times are good. And even hards times can be good. When your in the right frame of mind. AndI am. The weather is bad today so here I am. Cold and wet outside. Warm and toasty inside with my Neopoet friends. I have missed ya'll. Take Care. huey

Thanks Hobo

I wrote all but the last verse between 1:30 am and 3:00 am. I had my eyes proped open with match sticks. I had a lot of clean up to do on the poem later. The last verse was an after thought. I'm Happy to see Neopoet back up. And to see my poet friends. Take Care. huey

tumble weed

Great to see you back ! I have known many who seem content to let life blow them as it may ( even feel like one myself at times ). I have a few ideas that you might consider in this wonderful poem :
line 7 seems to need another syllable, Maybe she seems nowhere to be found ?
line-11 try starting this line with maybe or or
line-13 change blown to trapped or caught or some such
line-23 change it's to it has

just a few ideas you are free to use or not. Your fan..............scribbler

Thanks Stan

I'm glad to be back. I've been a bit of a tumbleweed myself. And if I could still drive I would still tumble. Between my house on the lake and West Texas. My niese in Oregon (my birth place). And my nephew in montana. I made that trip summer before last by train....I made the changes you sugested. Though I bebated changing the blown to caught. But you won out. Plus I made a couple more small changes. I appreciate the time you take on mine and other poems. Thanks. Take Care. huey

Dear Huey

I so love this poem! I have reread it 4 times before deciding to comment. I have know many like this tumbleweed and think if we are honest we all have a bit of that free spirit and wanderlust in us. I am glad Holly likes it!

Lori

Thanks Lori

My dad was a tumbleweed. So I was dragged all over the US. I like to atay in one place. But I always get involved with wonderers. I've loved that tumbleweed for 31 years. I've been where I'm at for 25 years. And she wants me to tumble up to West Texas. She knows the words that would get me there. No! not "love". Take Care. huey

Much love on your continued

Much love on your continued journey, dear tumbleweed, watch out of for the sunset on fire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfZes9fFmXc&feature=related

Hugs,
Anna

Thanks Kaiashana

I didn't complete the download. I'm on dail up and my speakers don't work. But Neil young is absulutly one of my favorite artest. Harvest is my favorite album. I love the harmonacas. Heart of Gold is one of my favorite songs. I will go back and listen to the video when I get my speakers working. Thanks. Take Care. huey

Thanks xena

That tumbleweed has eluded me for 31 years now. But she did ask me what size ring I wore this afternoon. This morning she had asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said I didn't know. That I had never worn one. That I would only wear one if she had the matching ring. She only chuckled. And told me to get sized. Maybe she meant sized for my nose ring. Least I know it isn't the finger that gets you in trouble. Thanks xena. take Care. Oh! I'm glad you got your own picture back up. huey