Rula

Nov 13, 2012

This poem is part of the workshop:

fixed verse – it's not a curse

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Description: Context can be critical to poetics. For example, poetry that records historic events in epics, such as Gilgamesh, will necessarily be lengthy and narrative, while poetry used for liturgical purposes (hymns, psalms, sutras and hadiths) needs to have an inspirational tone. Elegy and tragedy are meant to evoke deep emotional responses, while comic is supposed to provoke laughter.

Various forms of poetry have been ‘invented’ throughout history, as poets have attempted to find the most appropriate and effective way to use sound to present their message.

Poetic form refers to various sets of "rules" followed by poems of certain types. The rules may describe such aspects (amongst many others) as the rhythm or meter of the poem; its rhyme scheme; use of (for example) repetition or alliteration, even length.

This workshop will be an ongoing (superficial) examination of various forms within the ‘western’ tradition, in which we will simply take one at a time and, after a short discussion to ascertain its purpose, attempt to write one ourselves (or more if we so desire).

Leader: judyanne

Moderator(s): wesley snow

Objectives: The goal of this workshop is to familiarise ourselves with various types of poetry in order to raise our awareness as to the effectiveness of different forms to deliver different messages. It is also the goal of this workshop to practice our iambic/ trochaic, in preparation for a future sonnet workshop.

Level of expertise: Open to all

Subject matter: A form of poetry will be presented once a week. It will not be necessary for you to try every form if you join the shop – merely the ones that interest you. It will be necessary, however, to contribute to short discussions and comment on any poems posted by others in the shop.

Please note: the AC has changed it so Workshop postings no longer count in the one-poem-to-be-submitted-a-day rule. Members can post as many workshop contributions as they need to and still post a poem a day.

This workshop is closed.

In Syria ...An Octogram

Recalling homes once stood in pride,
the hearts are drained.
for those had sheltered flesh that dried,
and re-arranged.
As evil hit and shattered all,
the hearts, the souls, the flesh and wall,
now left the memory splashed and stained
with hearts that drained.

In Syria freedom died while wide
endued along an endless pain,
that left the whole to split and slide
in war-attained
in search for long and restless fight,
so dark embraced the day and night,
and only shadows cloaked and chained
the hearts that drained.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

the Octogram ...A French Form

Just to understand the form , here it is in details

http://www.neopoet.com/comment/78679#comment-78679

my mistake rula

the octogram should be in tetrameter and dimeter

so sorry - i was very tired yesterday when i put the exercise on and wrote the wrong instruction - i have gone back and corrected it...

this is a great write - and i apologise again for misleading you

love judy
xxx

No problem

dear judy. Easily fixed , hope it still reads good .
Thanks for visiting
Please take care.

good fix

but line 4 in each stanza is also supposed to be dimeter :)

one other tiny thing - the scansion and count is out in 'In syria freedom died while wide'

still love the write
love judy
xxx

I came back even before you

I came back even before you fixed the other lines rula, for the pleasure of the read without criting it… I think this is an awesome write in itself – and I think the form so suits it – which brings me to the thought – what do you think the french were after with these types of forms …

and btw – leave the syria line alone – it doesn’t need to be changed – the anapaest works beautifully

but oh dear - the rhyme scheme is out with the first verse in your fix i now notice
xxx

Hopefully

Fixed.:)

fixed

yes, very powerful
and great usage of the form I think

one line (imo of course) spoils it just a tad
'for those had sheltered flesh that dried,
and bones that strained.'

I really don’t see a logic there – much as some sort of analogy, no
so my next feeling was that it was a search for rhyme

I know you hate to use someone else’s – want to keep it all ruleresque :)
but what do you think of something like
'for those had sheltered flesh that dried
and re-arranged.'

great write – I said it before
love judy
xxx

i like it judy

and very much loved the repetitive line. Always wanted to write something like this.
Thank you.

Oh Rula.

I don't care what form it takes. This is the most hauntingly beautiful poem you've written. This is art. This is why we write.
There is a gentleman down the street from me who just bought my local market. He is Syrian. Born and raised in Homs. Twenty five members of his family have been lost in the conflict. I will take this to him.
Rula, it's bloody glorious. I am blown away.

Thanks a lot sir

I kept on coming to read your nice comment and still do . I am blushing . :)

Rula

Now your piece has settled down to its being, it is a great write and as always you have breached another barrier, well done.
You do writes that I would not attempt and I always love to see them evolve to this state, of near perfection.
Take care young lady, you are becoming the teacher, Yours Ian.T

Ian

Thanks for your great words . It means a lot to me when I got sucn words of praise.
Nothing would make a poet happier I believe than to know his words ring right into his reader's.
Thanks again for the visit and the comment.

Hi Rula

judy is right. this is powerful. you deserve everyone's .praises here. you always give me a wonderful piece to read. thank you very much

alid

you have broken a barrier here, i wonder when can i do the same....sigh.
probably in a long while:(

Khalid

your visit to my writings and your encouraging words mean a lot. I'm really grateful.
I know you can do better yourself.

Hi Rula

its good that we are encouraging each other..appreciate it.pardon my self-pity..sometimes i'm just impatient .. especially since i need to prove to my siblings this is not a waste of time..they have been telling me to stop writing.

alid

Do not listen to your siblings.

You have much to offer.
To paraphrase Whitman- "Life goes on and you may contribute a verse".
Do not stop contributing.

Please.

thank you

for the encouragement.

Alid

I am not sure if it is possible to stop a poet in you from writing...just like it is not possible for a volcanic eruption ..

similarly. if one tries to stop the poet in you from writing..it would be as unfair as cutting the bud before allowing it to bloom into a flower...

that of course is my take..

Love Mand xxxxx