scribbler
Jul 05, 2011

SUMMER NIGHT

A South Carolina July night
way back in nineteen sixty five
summer air so warm and damp
it almost seems alive

Lying beneath an open window
before universal conditioned air
watching fire flies on the screen
hearing a desultory bark somewhere

Sheets and pillow wet with sweat
sleep seems so very far away
air so thick it comes in bites
mind keeps reviewing the past day

A silent flash of distant storm
long delayed thunder rumbles, deep
at last a cool breeze from the window
finally wafting me to sleep

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

S

Sorry about putting you to sleep lol............stan

weirdelf

So you described something, big deal. I want content.

S

The only content intended was to recall what it was like trying to fall asleep on a stuffy summer night back before widespread use of air conditioning. Not every poem has to have earth shaking insights and social implication..................stan ( better watch out or I'll challenge you to do a woodland narrative lol)

S

Surely you don't expect everything I write to be a masterpiece? If so you are gonna be sadly disappointed most of the time. Remember ; writers write...... just not always well.......stan

K

Yes. And I keep repeating..... we write in our own mediocrity (the median: on a bell curve) sometimes we rise gloriously above and sometimes abysmally below.

Even the best world-class poets have their own bell curve. Though the extremes are not quite as extreme.

~A