Triskelion
Triskelion
Aug 07, 2021
This poem is part of the workshop:

Stretching wings (Let's Begin)

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Stretching Wings Workshop (rhyme to free verse)

This is the Geezer's rhyming poem

Born To Be Wild
I float upon stormy seas
Forever in my youth
Can't bring me to my knees
I'll ride the blustered winds
All my care-free days
Don't think of me a fool
I won't ever change my ways
I'll tame the ways of age
Figure out the road
Keep on jumping all around
Like Spring's hoppy-toad
So, don't tell me to "Go slower"
I just won't comply
If I say I will, my friend
Just take it for a lie

My FV version (with any apologies for misrepresentation)lol

I snub you
Old Man Winter
I'll never know your face

I kick the leaves of fall
False harbinger!

I'll devour you with my tongue, summer
...so deliciously tanned

I am born of spring time
When cowering plants emerge
When rains lash the primal seas
And the wind strips the crests from the towering waves
Blustering wonderfully!
You are fools in time's whirlwind
Subdued and riddled
With the sands of age
I swim in Rage!
I am the Sage!
I am a recalcitrant TOAD!
And I am made to HOP, POP!
I won't give in
Friend, just you watch

I'll say I'll lay
But, lie

Thomas

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Let me know if any part can use clarification or improvement or change. Especially you, Geezer. Thanks

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Lake Simcoe Canada

Favorite Poets: Poe

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

I think you should have kept the three lines after "I am born of Springtime", in the present tense, instead of delving into the past.
Otherwise pretty good!
~ Geez.
.