What do you stand to win?
Everything
And what will you lose?
Everything
Why challenge yourself?
It will be worth it in the end
Even though they doubt your skill?
I will prove them wrong
After all the times you failed?
I will get back up
Though you know what lies ahead?
I have gotten this far
To slay the greed of others?
To approach a dream
Why even try?
I stand win
To fall
To rise.
Mar 07, 2012
Stand To Win
About This Poem
Last Few Words: With everything to gain and everything to lose, its worth a shot.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Great sense of attaining
Great sense of attaining balance, being positive & accepting "what is" here. Very clear & direct & no doubt it felt satisfying to write & heartening to express... as it should... This is a good thing to do, this is like an affirmation poem really isn't it... Good for the soul.
Cheers
A
James Joyce would like this,
The rhythm of this is enchanting
as we see two people speaking
and the play between the negative and positive
batted back and forth, I liked.
Just listen to:-
I stand to win
To fall
To rise.
James Joyce would like this,
he listened to the tennis players I remember in one of his books,
that tock, tock, tock, tock fascinating him.
Although I suppose his was only imagined, we heard it just the same.
"To slain the greed of others?" ...would it be slay?
"I stand win" ...to win, or a comma or new line.
Good stuff yours Nordic cloud.