Let's sit beneath this poplar's shade
on this late spring afternoon
while heat shimmers distort the glade
summer time is coming soon
Drops of sweat dive off my nose
but we can drink some cold sweet tea
we're down to the minimum of clothes
to still maintain propriety
Bumbling bees provide a hum
as they pollinate the varied flowers
the tuneless background leaves me numb
after hearing it for hours
Tired air's so lazy it won't stir
it barely deigns to support birds
listen to the silence which occurs
usually at hearing obscene words
Through slits I see your eyelids drop
our breaths become measured and deep
'ere long our world will seem to stop
as we drop into tranquil sleep
Comments
Stan
You have made this a lovely piece, the workshop has defined others thoughts, and I hope guided your quill to this end.
I wait to see what the others think,
Yours Ian.T
Hello Ian
I Did have a bit of help from a certain Brit with this lol. Since I am lacking in technical expertise all I can hope to do with shops I run is get people to think a bit more deeply about what and how they write. I appreciate your participation..................stan
Spring Fever
Love it. Can relate to every word. Takes me back down to S. FLA. But it fits just about anywhere spring is paying a visit. I like it very much. The only thing missing is the buzzing of tree frogs but if you listen hard, you can hear them too. Thanks for the moment.
Capt Jack
(Gerry)
hello Gerry
Since this poem's original version as well as this final one was written for a workshop I tried to limit the length. I could well have included alltypes frogs, whippoorwills, darned mosquitoes and various other thing lol. But I'm very pleased that what I Did include got you to thinking about what was left out. I appreciate the visit and time to comment............stan