A Sonnet for the End

As raging fires burn around our place
And crashing waves threaten us, unnerve us
Your old ridges and lines, most beauteous
Grant me your strength, as I caress your face
Grant me divine love, your eternal grace
For when our joints grow stiff and cold and ache
When my bones are brittle and start to break
My shaking hands destroy our blames by mace
Wiping all imperfections from our bone
Because here you are perfect, old or new
Here I am close, perfection oh so blue
A great distant sun burns brightly alone
For you, I grow the sweetest honeydew
For you, the Midgard serpent overthrown.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I am really trying to broaden my types of poems, so this is my very first sonnet. Let me know if I should continue writing them! (Also a huge thank you to @blistered-pen for all their help!)

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Alberta, CAN

Favorite Poets: Maya Angelou

Comments

Thanks for the feedback!

Hi @blistered-pen !
Thank you so much for the feedback. You have not overstepped your boundaries at all! I really appreciate the website you provided- great resource. I will definitely check out that rhyme scheme. I've actually never written a sonnet before, so this is great practice! And thank you for the warm welcome. I will stick around this website for sure. Have an amazing day, and happy writing!

Hi Bookdragon

Welcome to Neopoet..

though Sonnet is not my comfort zone I liked the critique of blisteredpen ...your open mind will definitely enable you to rework on the sonnet ...we have few others like Rula who has a good handle on this form as too Judyanne and few others whom I do not see on the site for a long time....I suggest you visit the workshop on sonnets which you will find listed under the workshop tab where you will have more inputs from them...
.............................................................................................