`
Let a song rise through your tears,
Let a smile crease your wet cheeks.
Invoke kindness even when pain follows;
Let the bright of morning kiss your lips.
Let this song its sounds caress
They wipe away the raindrops and
make the echoes flee in the dark of night;
A long day floats away in its melody.
Let sleep quietly soft, lift you up
in the crook of its gentle arms tonight.
Let twinkling stars line your misty dreams.
Set sail on a shimmering crystal sea.
`
Comments
Nice and...
soothing, but a few changes might make it a little smoother.
Capitalize the [A] long day. Drop the ly from soft[ly], and change the [ly] on twinkly, to [ing]. Just a couple of thoughts, ~ Gee
Thanks Gee
I've tweaked it as per suggestion and may just gotten through the smoothness threshold. Thanks much, much.
Always...
glad to lend a hand. ~ Gee
Thank you so much Shirl
Your kind words mean so much and are deeply appreciated.
cliches don't make a bad poem make
....not necessarily so.
And everyone has them but not likely to share them;
unless, of course, their business acumen goads them to make a few $ just like Hallmark.
Thanking you for the cliche comment.... stating the obvious makes it all the more obvious :-)
[The only sad thing is that of all the poems I have posted up for critique this is the one you picked.
Then a song you shall have, Kal
I only ask that we wait for my Muse to appear fortuitously! Indeed, a song you shall have :-)
i am sure
as you show a single eye
the other one is busy
winking
at the one for whom this song was sung
great friend
hope u r a musician
2222222222222222222222222222
only in my dreams
only in my dreams!
this brought you back to my awareness
wish you would post again soon
at times we long to hear
at times we long to hear
Louis Armstrong sing,
a jazz slow
likewise Cryptic does surprise
I wished all to know
the poet resurfaced
from fathoms below,
lost in the maze they call this world
hurried and buried
between daily chores
but the return of a poet here
makes one say for sure
Neopoets are loved
by one and all