Snow Globes

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses the metaphor of a snow globe and a blizzard to convey a sense of isolation and struggle. However, the narrative could be clearer and more cohesive.

The first two stanzas set up an interesting scenario of two individuals separated by a snowstorm, possibly caused by a djinn. The use of "djinn" is intriguing and adds a mystical element to the poem. However, the connection between the snow globe, the djinn, and the two individuals could be more explicitly drawn to help the reader understand the metaphor.

The third stanza introduces a new theme of loneliness and "narcotics of knowing." It's unclear what is meant by "narcotics of knowing" and how it relates to the rest of the poem. If it's a metaphor for something, consider making it more explicit or replacing it with a clearer image.

The final stanza returns to the snowstorm and introduces a sense of resolution. However, the phrase "frozen tales, of our own desire" is a bit vague. If it's meant to encapsulate the theme of the poem, consider revising it to more clearly communicate the message.

In terms of structure, the poem mostly adheres to a rhyme scheme, which helps to create a rhythm. However, there are a few lines that don't seem to fit the scheme, such as "gone without a month of sowing" and "buried in narcotics of knowing." Consider revising these lines to maintain a consistent rhythm throughout the poem.

Overall, the poem has a strong central metaphor and a compelling narrative. With a bit more clarity and consistency, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

with some clarity.
You have a nice rhythm going in the first stanza,
then it gets bogged down by using too many words.
For example, I think that you can get by quite nicely, with saying:

Tween him and I, an ocean of snow
through the whim of an unknown djinn
His snow globe turned over, upside down
I'm not conquered, I'm going to win

Great storyline, just needs a little trim. ~ Geez.
.

And the changes make the reading go much more smoothly.

I have always loved the simplicity of a snow globe and it's beauty. I love your use of language and how it felt so real, yet magical at the same time. Great job

Very nicely done! ~ Geez.
.

I read snow globes and thought your
descriptions were cool and refreshing,
It seemed to me that you might have
been in jeopardy in any event things
Seemed to turn out well. Great very
descriptive pòem top notch.

Hello, Cat,
A unique and magical point of view. The energy is bewitching.
L

Hi Cat.

Well, ya' done it again. I enjoyed the poem in its entirety but my favorite line is:

So many nights, all spent alone
gone without a month of sowing
A lengthy time, harshly pronounced
buried in narcotics of knowing

Nice job and thanks! - Will