Too beautiful a smile
never to be forgotten
in the wilderness
she met him
thought of him perhaps
as a mirage
was he real
he smiled
silence prevailed
all were lost in the oasis
where was it but in imagery
the poet had nothing else to say
so he smiled right away
he had none to return his smile
yet the sun as usual did shine
Comments
Your poem seems...
fine up until the las two lines. You have already established that he smiled; why then do you say: "he too smiled."?
~ Geez.
.
Thanks Gee
you serve Neo's purpose
beautifully
hi loved
I agree with geese. Also a bit of punctuation would benefit this poem."The poet had nothing else to say" is an excellent line
FROM WHERE DID THE SUN RISE ur on my page after ages
STAN DO SAY
WHEN ......
you were around Neo was differently sound
now they want my legal form
to post selected poems
as you know.....
of a no man anon
but poet of Neoman
life is a juxtaposition u know it....
scribble on
the sun has yet to set
Smile in the Wilderness
Hi, Lovedly,
The first stanza really grabs me...it is pure poetry. Not to be too romantic, but if I were listening to someone say those words to me, I don't think I'd here anything after that.
Thank you!
L
ooooooooooooo
That's an encouraging comment Thanks Lav ma'am