Sin
Written by: Mario Vitale
Anguish taunts through a barbed wire fence with edged grasp
Actions in which human beings rebel against a holy God
Miss their purpose for their lives
Surrender to the prince of the power of the air more then God
Cause all of their deeds were evil!
Shattered
An eclipse of the sun had tainted my inner vision
Push back the pain with radiant guide
Does this notion in thought come at any big surprise?
Weak willed tyrants from the flood of dispinsation
Shattered fragments loosed in gloom climatic abrasion
Parts unknown from the setting of the sun
Sin
Leading gullible women captive under the false cloak of compromise
Abortion on demand
When will they ever understand?
Blood shed in our streets
Evil tyrants from elected officials overly prideful taunt & pull!
We each our responsible for our actions before a holy God
Sin!
Comments
Chev
Your Piece is still in rough form and varying length of lines, makes it hard to let it flow in the reader.
Some may say that your poem is good to read but that is the theme.
I would love to see you have a go at one like Esker writes to see if you can shorten the lines and bring out your great imagination.
Sin to me is something you have avoided doing, and then have to blame someone for your errors.
There is the thing that is what I would call proper Sin, that's where your actions have had a bad effect on another person or even creature that inhabits this Earth.
But never mind we all do bad things,
Take care out there,
Yours Ian..