Sherwood Forest

Secret breath, music stirs tall trees,
Hidden outlaws, ‘neath ancient frieze,
Echoes speak, on blood blackened leaves,
Rambling roots cloak a band of thieves.
Where timeless tale as masterpiece,
Of tombs in the hood, rest in peace,
Opposing law with bravery.
Drink gold streams, of sanctuary,
Forever in story and song,
Old wood whistles, a chorus strong,
Recalling freedoms, moments past,
Eternally, they rest at last.
Such heroes fall in olden tales,
They live their lives, as woodland trails.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This is the first acrostic I have written. What do you think?

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United Kingdom

Favorite Poets: I like Margaret Atwoods poetry and I enjoy her writing. She has a natural ability to make her fiction read like poetry

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Comments

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, titled "Sherwood Forest - Acrostic", demonstrates a strong use of acrostic form, with the first letter of each line spelling out the title. The use of imagery and personification is also commendable, as it helps to bring the forest to life and create a vivid picture of the setting.

However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved. Firstly, the rhythm of the poem is inconsistent. While some lines have a clear iambic meter, others do not, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. Consistency in meter can help to create a more rhythmic and musical quality to the poem.

Secondly, the poem could benefit from more specific and concrete imagery. While the poem does a good job of creating a general atmosphere, more specific details could help to create a more immersive and engaging experience for the reader.

Lastly, the poem's theme could be developed further. While the poem does touch on themes of freedom and defiance, these could be explored in more depth to give the poem a stronger emotional impact. For example, the poem could delve more into the emotions and motivations of the outlaws, or explore the consequences of their actions.

Overall, the poem shows promise and with some revisions, it could be further improved.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lovely poem

Speaking as a man of Sherwood I found this poem so evocative - it reminded me of peaceful summer days as a lad rambling around Newstead Abbey (of Lord Byron fame of course) and wondering how old the Robin Hood's oak really was. I loved the brevity, the rhythm and the scene. To me, the fact that it is an acrostic is almost an afterthought. It's a pity you included this in the title because I wonder whether Neopoet AI (premium) 5-29-23 version would have picked that up without the prompt.

The Bot hasn't judged me yet,

The Bot hasn't judged me yet, there's still time. I don't know why I chose Sherwood Forest, probably because the song from the TV series often plays in my mind, but Michael Praed was the main reason I watched it.

The recent TV series Sherwood was magnificent for its overhead photography of the forest, and gave a real sense of the beauty of nature.

Your comments are really helpful and interesting, thank you. Ruby :)

The word...

...precious comes to mind! A fine tribute to the acrostic form and to a legend forest. I hope you will work on this until its brilliance can be shown. The only pothole I saw was L8 with the reference to knee. I know you can find something to smooth that over.
Sometimes, we write something that just looks proper and worth taking time to polish with jeweller's wax.

Wonderful!

Thomas

Thomas, thank you, I've been

Thomas, thank you, I've been away from my computer for a while but I've been running rhymes through my head ever since I read your very kind and thoughtful comment. I think I've got it now, you'll be the judge if I haven't. Thank you again, Ruby :) xx

Sherwood Forest

Hello, Ruby,
This felt as if I was sitting with a beloved old book on the bed of an ancient forest. It feels very grounded and mysterious at the same time. "Old wood whistles..." How enchanting! Beautiful acrostic.
L

Thanks Lavender, your

Thanks Lavender, your comments as always make me smile. I love the way you pick a part of my poem to reveal it touched you. Ruby :) xx

I like it...

I found your acrostic very good.
I ran through the poem as an orator would and adjusted my voice to the pace.
Every good, [really good ] orator knows that you have to project a mood through your voice
levels, tone, breathy, panting, gasp... I felt that you were hearing it live, in your head.
Yes, that middle could use a half beat somewhere, but... maybe...
if you could switch lines 7 and 8 and if you left out the [in] in line 7 , I think that might do it. Anyway, your call. ~ Geez.
.

Thanks Geezer, I'll have more

Thanks Geezer, I've made the changes you suggested. Your comments as always, much appreciated. Ruby :)