I need you to speak.
Your affection I crave.
Your love is what I seek,
but to ask –is to misbehave.
I’m trapped in this prison,
afraid and alone.
You walk by my cell,
the place I call home.
We are passersby,
strangers at best.
Your name is mother,
mine is suppressed.
Forever I walk
away from my home.
I need to escape you,
I need my shalom.
I walk to the park
and I sit by the stream.
Hours pass by
while I think and I dream
of the life I would live
if I could just get away,
but home is where you are,
so home is where I stay.
Comments
Thank you!
Wow! These are great suggestions! Thank you so much! I'll try it out and see how it feels to read it. :)
Some of my poems have been about my mother such as "Fear", "Devastated", and "Healing Poem". Writing about my experiences is how I cope with things.
Thanks again! :)
Changes
I did make changes as you suggested. I added the dash and changed the word in the fourth stanza. Instead of using "forget" I used "escape". I did decide to keep the same structure as before as it didn't quite suit the poem as I had expected. Thank you for the suggestions!!
Well done
I am with Alan and was pleasantly surprised that this was about Mother rather than a love interest. This resonated with me on an emotional level.
:)
Thank you!
Thankfully, my love interest is good to me so I have no need to escape or feel the way this poem describes. I'm sorry that this resonated with you. Like I told Alan, some of my poems are about my mother rather than a love interest, etc. Writing is how I cope and grow and let go of the feelings.