The two lone souls bound by a common aim
united for mutual benefit
this end pursued by agreement tacit
with a burning desire to attain fame
towards this very purpose primary
coloured by overarching, blinding zeal
utilizing a beg, borrow or steal
approach to combat any quandary
celebrating victories progressive
buoyed by dawning realization
that their rule was preordained destiny
employed tactics corrupt and coercive
more levels of rationalization
serial crimes lead to ignominy.
Nov 29, 2017
Secondary Hues:
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This poem is in the Sonnet format - it allows for more detail than my preferred Rhyku and sometimes details provide a clearer and more comprehensive picture. Whether the Shakespearean Lord and Lady Macbeth or their aspiring, conspiring and perspiring modern day counterparts, "if you do the crime, you will do the time" sooner or later and the retribution by the law and fate will occur on the behalf of victims as so aptly captured in "The Tell-Tale Heart" by Edgar Allan Poe. As in a masterpiece, the focus is only on the colourful primary protagonists but careful inspection of the secondary hues paints the whole picture.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Hello,
Might I comment? I love the sonnet form and think of it as the highest poetic type I know. It should have normally ten sylables in the form of five iambs per line. Variations consist of nine syllables when starting on a headless iamb and eleven syllables with a feminine ending. To amend your first line which has only eight syllables is the easiest thing in the world. Anyway, here is an example showing how the first four lines might look.
There were two upstarts with a common aim
who united to gain a mutual benefit
This end pursued by agreement tacit
With a burning desire to win some fame
Keith
Thanks for your helpful input. I like your suggestion and will correct the sonnet. I will also ensure future sonnets meet the iambic requirement.