Sanctuary

We left because of the violence.
I thought he would kill you or me.
But a child's memory’s a selective thing.
You forgot the beatings because he’s your dad
and you love him.

You lie there sobbing so softly
my heart shatters for you.
You miss him so much, you just want a father
to fish with, play ball with, show off to your friends
you forget yours didn't bother.

I feel so ineffective and guilty
I don't know what to do.
During the nightmare occurring that day
your little heart broke and you cannot forgive me
for taking you away.

I attempt to hold you close
proffering comfort and love
but you twist from me as if I'm your enemy
push me away, crying I want my daddy
and weep uncontrollably.

Trying to shelter your innocence
I won't yet spell the reality.
It’ll be soon enough that you will be grown
saying goodbye to childhood dreams.
The facts then will be known.

But while you're still my baby boy
I'll hold the dark secret close.
To protect your spirit I'll abide your anger
while wishing to God that I had the means
to shield you from truth forever.

And my heart is silently splintering
I believe it's entirely my fault.
I opted badly in my choice of lover
and, as is common in failed relationships
it’s the innocent who suffer.
.