Flamboyantly floating
across the
salty sand-filled
sea are two
birds bathed
in the bashful yet
beatific color of blue
me and you .
Sensationally
sailing into the
The world’s
radiant
royal red
eye . That
timidly ticks on
down as time
goes by .
So now as
this
world rests
It’s weary
noble head .
and this
little day dives deep
into depths of an
eternal sleep.
up arising from
the nebulous
of the
night is the
audacious
sight of the
moons
Superlative
Light.
Comments
The direction of this one is great
I like the way the thoughts go
Wish more of them were strung together
The way they are breaks my chain of thought
Making it harder for me to follow.
Just my humble opinion... you’ll write the way you want it, I know
Thank you
Thank you
My inspiration
https://youtu.be/Fl5EPEzukNQ
Thank you
I will fix it and thank you for your opinion it is always a pleasure
Sailing in to the Eye
Hello, Edward,
I love the alliteration in your poetry, but this piece may have just a bit too much - which may distract the reader from some of your beautiful, lovely imagery. The beautiful sunset and the rising moon are especially striking.
Thank you,
L