I lay among the sleek
solemn silver sand .
Holding within my hectic
heartbroken hand.
A single rose
that is
divinely doused
In the
reverent royal
color of red .
Luring the lustrous
white dove.
Which in
flamboyance
flutters it’s
eiderdown
of endearment .
And starts to soar
across the briny scintillant
sea of my long lasted
Memory .
Finally plummeting
upon that
darling little day
that is
enraptured in
intimacy .
Twas on that
adoring day .
Where I
rested my
torrid timid
hands upon
your placid
white winter
palms .
Forever
pledged
Upon
serenity .
Apr 09, 2021
A royal red rose
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Edwad
among not amongst
my suggestion would be to find an alternate word for bouncing
your poem has a dreamy quality to it and bouncing does not seem to fit with the timbre of the poem
otherwise it speaks o beauty as a red rose signifies so much
Thank you
What I meant by bounding I meant destined or secluded to serenity.
Still thank you for your kind and thoughtful criticism and words.
Hello Edward, I like your
Hello Edward, I like your poem very much. I would try to make it shorter by joining up some lines. Just a personal opinion because I find so many lines disturbing or difficult to absorb.
Enjoyed, Gracy