CCfire
CCfire
Apr 16, 2011

rot

if i were there
i would tell you

winter is facing up
to its past mistakes

no rain
turned to
damp meadows with
muddied hooves

if you were here
you would say

i've never lived
a discontented season
but you are not shakespeare
and i am not grieving

a death i did not feel

past mistakes find themselves
buried like tall oaks
we can chop them down
but the roots live

rotting where we cannot see them

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Melbourne, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Bukowski

More from this author

Comments

CCfire

CCfire

14 years ago

In reply to by yenti

Perhaps 'rot' would be a better thought, thanks for that idea. :)

S

Ever notice I write Hmmmm.... To make it seem like I'm really thinking lmao. In absence of real thought, the last two lines read as contradiction to me.The roots either are alive or rotting. Maybe change live to remain would be an idea to consider.....................scribbler