stoic sticks click (rest) clack
wild tambourines throw a festive party
while those prim and proper triangles
those dangling works of art
hold their noses high
shoulders at a rest
waiting for the hush
the silence of the rhythm band, and then
with almost no effort at all, they declare
ping!
the song is over
***
Comments
Dear Lavender
Well descriptive piece. Though I'm not sure what inspired this, it seems like a concert of kind was attended and I got the feeling that it was enjoyable for everyone, and me too as I read.
Always pleases me to read your words dear.
Hello, Rula,
You are so kind. My first error with this poem was to assume that the reader knew what a rhythm band was, and could relate to some similar experience in their own childhood. I was in first or second grade -six or seven years old, and we performed a concert for our parents. It was a massive struggle getting through it, and that memory brought about this poem. It needs some work! I always appreciate your help in reading and commenting!
Thank you!
L
Hello Lavender
It might be only me as different cultures have different experiences, but it wasn't very difficult to guess that it is a musical party.
Thank you for the clarification anyways
Hello, Alan,
This one needs to be rescued, and I appreciate your generous suggestions. I'll pull it in and trim off the extra weight. Thank you for your time and help here! I'm very grateful!
L
Ping! :)
I too recall my school kids band
when the music flopped
Miss Lady Frown
hit me with her ruler
for no fault of mine
I was not yet nine..
Now while resting in the dungeons of
no poetry
just lemme
enjoy your
ping
ding dong ding!
then hear me sing
Hello, Lovedly,
I'm glad you could relate to this poem, but so sorry for the negative memory that surfaced!
Take care!
Lav
to enjoy rain
nature provided the sun.....
life is a conglomeration of sadness
intermingled with happiness
more sun than rain
else twill be a pain
Love this version
much better dear Lavender. It's compacted and right to the point without losing the details.
I thought the last line would read smoother as :
[now] the song is over.
But that obviously so minor thing . It's great as is
Nice memory.
Hello, Rula!
Wonderful suggestion which I am grateful to use! Thank you for your help!
L
You are
the most welcome my dear wonderful friend.