uglywill
Oct 12, 2016

Rhyme II

Does beautiful poetry have to rhyme?
If the words flow like magic, every time
and nature is served with gardens of delight.
Where is need for perfect prose and insight?
The meaning is clear and loves message served,
I search each day for words that preserve
and deliver a rose with a note that reserve
that I will pursue loves secret each day.
No earthly expression encompasses adequate depth
to convey my beloved her meaningfulness.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Hawaii Big Island USApoet . i have written about 100 poems and am waiting for new inspiration!

Favorite Poets: I have never read poetry . I just sat down one day and started to write and after two years I had written 100 poems (free verse) and the inspiration to continue passed!

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

your language usage was good but the rhyming pattern became a bit muddled towards the end of the poem. to answer the question your poem poses is, no, great poetry does not have to rhyme. in fact, I am very fond of free verse and find it most meaningful and also liberating. I believe that alot of feeling can be lost in the search of a perfectly structured poem. that's my honest evaluation. I liked your theme.

always, Cat

Candlewitch

hello again! I noticed the line with "Love's Secret" there is a beautifully haunting poem by William Blake, titled "Love's Secret" I think you would like it. it can be "googled" just wanted to share that with you :)

always, Cat

B

I agree with you about free verse and that a lot of feeling can be lost in the search of a perfectly structured poem.Why not mix it? Why not use the tools of poem like association saturated,
dense expression and internal rhyme for instance,
Another question: Must great poetry have metaphors?

Keith Logan

the rhythm, never quite settled, towards the end goes completely awry.
Having said that, there is much to recommend a little rework to tidy the piece up.