I see it yet it isn't there
In fact of this, I'm well aware
Still I hear the sounds foregone
Day before the day I was born
The darkness and the light are clear
So clear and yet there is no fear
For fear is just a state of being
The light of which is not worth seeing
My hopes are but a deed undone
All is lost and can't be won
Aug 20, 2019
Puzzle
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Thank You
I couldn't have said it better myself. You got the meaning correctly. It doesn't make a lot of sense that's why it's called Puzzle. It is about hopelessness and it is supposed to be ambiguous and perplexing.
Thank you for your comment.
B9Pat
An interesting puzzle
Your poem gave me the feeling of time in its natural order between birth and death, no fear in leaving but some regrets, and the finality of knowing there are still things to be done. We cannot change the ending, nor all the mistakes we (humans) made along the way. I know the feeling of disappointment, but hopelessness I do not understand. I like the theme very much. There is an extra stress in the 4th line that affects the meter, otherwise, smooth as silk.
Respectfully,
An interesting puzzle
Thank you for your comment Marthalyn. I'll check out that 4th line. The poem was meant to be somewhat ambiguous. I hope you liked it.
B9Pat