Let's not go down this lane
For when we start the journey
And gaze upon each other's nakedness
Knowing we have tied no nuptial knot
This is what we are;
We are two innocent souls on the edge
Conflicting thoughts flooding our heads
Thought of eternity...fading away into night
As fabric gives way to bare flesh
We know we should not be here
Yet hands caress bodies...lips find lips
Our consciences scream out...our hearts skip
We know...the next step ends in doom
Yet heated passion leaves no room
For sane decisions
When we, first two...
Become a corrupt 'one'
The devils beat hard on their drums
The darkness overcomes us as we move
Together...dancing to that evil rhythm
Our breaths unite in a death-chant
Suffocating the light in our hearts
Lucifer lifts his three-pronged fork
And hurls it into our merged bodies
As we shudder and scream out the cry of defeat
As reality sets in
One of us will whisper...
"We began this journey...
Mere minutes ago
Now a contract has been signed
It's us with the devil
There's no turning back!!"
Within five desperate, blind minutes
We will tie our souls and sell
Our salvation...
So my love, when we go down
This inviting lane...
We trade our innocence
We trade our light
We trade our lives
Just so we can have a bite
Of that red...juicy...poisoned...ancient apple
Just a piece, my dear
Just a piece of that old, old lie!
Comments
Lonnie!
Thanks for reading my piece!
I'm glad you saw the story in there!
Long any guy would love it
for the length of poetry
but
the world is a-changing
very few delve...
Hi
I must admit i'm finding it hard to understand your comment.
But thanks anyway!
hello amma
‘Conflicting thoughts flooding out heads’ – do you mean ’our heads’ ??
I like
‘Our breaths untie in a death-chant
Smoking out the light in our hearts’
but I wonder at the word ‘smoking’
– maybe something like
‘suffocating the light..’ might work ??
‘Lucifer lifts his three-teethed fork’
- correct grammar would be ‘three-toothed’, but I like ‘three-pronged’ ??
‘As we shudder and screams out the cry of defeat’ – I think ‘screams’ should be ‘scream’
just love
‘Within five desperate, blind minutes
We will tie our souls and sell
Our salvation...’
and I adore the last two lines.
a really great write
thanks for sharing
love judy
Happy to go...
back to the drawing board! Thanks for your suggestion...now I can revise this, since it's still 'rough draft'
Yes, I meant to type 'our heads'...thanks for noticing and pointing it out to me.
There are a few other typing errors in there too;I meant to type 'unite' instead of 'untie' in the line;
'Our breaths untie in a death-chant'.
"Three-pronged fork sounds more vivid to me...thanks!
In fact, i'm going to revise this right away!!