She writes such beautiful poetry
as she lies there in that bed
She can write a wonderful story
all the words kept in her head
Her body left to do those things
that she has to do
Her mind cries out, a song it sings
beautiful poems for you
Words of wonder, things that shine
no thought of what she does
Never once, does she lose her mind
it's all for the greater cause
The smiling face of her little boy
she sees it clearly now
It brings to her such a joy
and the memory of her vow
All that matters are the words she shares
with the world of reading souls
Those folks that can't do what she dares
to keep them from the cold
Stories that she keeps in mind
she locks them all away
So many, many different kinds
To be written down one day
Comments
I'm not sure
if a prostitute's art can be related to poetry, as it seems to me closer to performance art, but I suppose at times, a prostitute might say some poetic things..lol.
I wonder what s(he) might write about concerning experiences. I wonder, would limericks dominate the form, or perhaps villanelles...we may never know.
As usual, your meter and rhyme are technically admirable and the story carries through well. The title carries an essence of tongue-in-cheek, and it's perfectly relatable. Great job.
Cheers!
Thomas
As Scribbler says...
it's all about disassociation. While she does what she does, she writes poetry in her head to take her away from the hurt.
~ Geez.
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I see..
it is the juxtaposition of the two that is being presented. While she employs herself by doing the difficult things that she must (being mostly regarded of a lowly pursuit), the beautiful things she thinks about are mostly worthless. All to protect her son.
I incorrectly understood she was doing the poetry at the same time she was doing a service. Apologies
Thomas
No...
you were right! This is what she does, while she does what she does. In order to keep her mind from what is going on, she splits away from what is happening to her body, by writing poetry in her head. When I was going through a divorce and having a very difficult time in living in the same house with my ex, I could read a book, watch T.V. and tell someone what was happening with both of the other things. ~ Geez.
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Dang!
...talk about multitasking...I won't go any further than that.
good poem.
Thomas
I think
..I see where the confusion started for me. It was the initial stanza. I think if the disassociation was presented stronger, it would be more clear.
Of course, no one can write for another person, but just an idea...
She writes such beautiful poetry
as her tolerant body's spread
in another world, another story
is forming in her head
Thomas
You may be right...
but I would have thought that the title would have given you a clue! ~ Geez.
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I see
Thanks for pointing that out. I feel so stupid.
I do agree...
that your lines would have made it VERY clear what was going on and I wouldn't say that you should feel stupid; that title could have been taken in many ways. It's all good and I am seriously considering adopting your lines in part or even wholly.
~ Geez.
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dear Geez
wow! well... you have slapped me up-side the head, once again! what has me amazed is your intuition into a woman's heart and mind! I sit in awe of your talent. great structure. I feel the title is so-so, but I can't think of a better one I'll think on it and get back to you if I find a good suggestion. have a great evening.
*hugs, Cat
Thank you so much...
I tried to put her feelings about what she does to keep her son and self from poverty, in that dissociative state. I can imagine that she has a talent for writing poetry, but not the talent for turning it into a living. Maybe someday... ~ Geez.
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dear Geezer,
of dissociative states: there are a lot people who disassociate and to look at them, you would never guess. great poem.
*hugs, Cat
ever eddy
Good write of disassociation between body and mind.
Two time you failed to hold perfect rhyme though. "no thought of what she does"......try something like "of what she does? No thought or pause". i expect you already know of the second miss and it can be easily changed too......stan
I thought that...
the near rhyme was close enough to make it real and keep the rhythm. I feel that if you were to say those lines without looking at them, they would definitely pass. You got the premise of the poem perfectly while others missed it. ~ Geez.
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no one Gee can earn a living composing poetry
Once we knew a widow penniless had daily two customers composed poetry in their minds only two guys young to young daughter ----older one she'd handle ...had a kid son looking on--- sad 'twas but then a life had to be swum
she did it no poetry came out you know what Gee
money makes all do even when one does not want to
This comment I will convert to poetry after hours 23 only jess slated it
if you agree weeks next winner poem life in real terms will be this one lol
We don't...
want to have you winning too often lovedly, or Jess will be turning over in his grave! Making a living from writing poetry; indeed! But don't tell that to the people who write for greeting cards and gravestones. ~ Geez.
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greeting cards and gravestones.
greeting cards yes
I went to a cards dealer with my poetic greetings
he laughed his guts out
came down the steps tumbling
he said lovedly lovely poetry
I will pay you just a scent
one puff
and if you accept
just a flying kiss
he had a long beard
and gravestones.
for graveyards poems I refused
coz he'd say now I need one
please give some donation
my heart you have broken
GEE I RAN
his tumble was fatal
I used to have...
the acquaintance of a person who wrote verse for greeting cards and gravestones, he made a decent living for writing verse for other people. Not everyone has that talent, of being able to take just a few words about someone's emotions and write something that expresses those feelings. ~ Geez.
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hey sir Gee,
my poem is titled "minor reprieve" in case you are interested.
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
Of course...
I am interested. Just couldn't find it. I'll go look again. Hugs back, Geez.
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show us the Candle and we shall light
it brigt