raj
Mar 15, 2015

A Poem

not as much the words
but sound, mood, theme resonate
their poetic thought

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

mand

mand

10 years 1 month ago

Like this one! you have captured the true nature of poetry writing - it's clear and succinct - I don't think anyone will disagree!

Syllable count looks good and a pleasure to read. :)

Love Mand xxxx

judyanne

What do you think of replacing 'their' with 'but', and 'a' with 'to'...?
Just a suggestion
love judy
xxx

R

Thanks for the read. Actually I had contemplated on lines suggested by you and have now replaced "their" with but and "a" with "their". Does "their" communicate the expected meaning ?

Regards,

judyanne

For me 'to' seems to say more
I cant explain why - it may be just the way I see it, but it changes the meaning very subtly

Read it a few times over, trying out both 'their' and 'to', and see if you can see what I mean ...
love judy
xxx

R

raj

10 years 1 month ago

I know what you mean. But I feel that in the absence of "their" somewhere, it would not connect "words" to "thought"...i hope you know what i mean.

Regards,

lovedly

you link poetry with vibrations only
what of words
all seek
the same dictionary
raj sublime _ u b

R

raj

10 years 1 month ago

Thanks for stopping by, your read and comments.

Regards,

Sparrow

A polished piece with the small changes that you accepted.
A great piece for today, take care,
Yours Ian..

Seren

Seren

9 years 1 month ago

Its all been said before me but this verges onto the profound

Beautifully done and oh it really is !! A poem ;)

Love and big hugs Jayne xxx