China Blue
China Blue
Sep 12, 2011
This poem is part of the workshop:

Expanding Your Perspective

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Passion(Splash Pool submission) re write

Mon, 2011-09-12 10:53

China Blue's picture

re write

Passion is the tides
Surge, ebb and flow
The roar of an approaching storm
The flame of desire's
Burning heat

A lion’s hunger
When on the prowl
To the ocean’s depth
It is felt

Lust never fulfilled

Love is a comfort zone
An unconditional giving
Where no boundary lines are drawn
A knowing without a whisper
A reading of the signs

Love always fulfilled

Passion without love
Is empty
Love lacking passion
Leaves a void

And yes it is true
The emotions live on
That she might love both
As if they were one

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

I am in total agreement!

Passion without love
Is empty
Love lacking passion
Leaves a void

always, Cat

R

raj

13 years 7 months ago

i liked the re-write ..because in the original write you had encountered a problem of distinguishing between love and lust and at the same time wondering why they can't be together...

however after reading this re-write i believe you are trying to equate passion and lust..is it?...i believe passion and lust differ even though the difference may be subtle ...

S

Was expecting a more extreme change but like the way you changed to saying passion and lust can go hand in hand..........stan

lou

lou

13 years 7 months ago

I d like to ask each participant, if they felt they gained a new insight into their poem, and if so why?

I have to agree with Stan , it is a subtle change, but it is effective.

Lou

lou

lou

13 years 7 months ago

At least it achieved something.

Love lou

docmaverick

...this flowed, oh! So well. It's late, as I am reading....and, I read your effort...aloud; and it flowed, and rolled off of the tongue ever so, effortlessly!
Truly, an enchanting read. Thanx.
Sincerely,
doc.