Loving
Makes one happy
Beyond thinking of self
Learning about someone you call
Your wife
Apr 18, 2023
Partner
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Loving
Makes one happy
Beyond thinking of self
Learning about someone you call
Your wife
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Overall, the poem "Partner" conveys a sweet and simple message about the joys of love and partnership. The imagery of "learning about someone you call your wife" is particularly touching, highlighting the idea that true love involves a deep understanding and appreciation of one's partner.
However, the poem could benefit from some additional development and refinement. The language is somewhat basic and lacks depth, which could be improved with more intricate phrasing and metaphorical language. Additionally, the poem's structure is very sparse, consisting of only five short lines. While brevity can be effective in poetry, in this case, the poem feels a bit too brief and could benefit from some added detail and complexity.
One suggested line edit could be: "Loving makes one happy, / Beyond the self we know, / Learning all that makes you, / My beloved, wife and soul." This edit adds some more depth and metaphorical language to the poem, emphasizing the idea that true love involves a deep connection between two souls.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
I was trying the cinquain
I was trying the cinquain form. 5 lines, 2,4,6,8,2
Partner
Hello, Clentin,
An endearing and charming cinquain. True words!
Beautiful.
L
Thank you for reading and
Thank you for reading and comments. I was trying to write some cinquains.
A Life Lesson
I've been at it for 41 years. Still learning.
Nicely done.
Thank you . I am writing this
Thank you . I am writing this ending the month and 55 years together