During the absent days,
although you were near
but at the same time
in some other place,
love may have been there
but I had to guess
most of the time,
and I was terrible at it
During the absent days,
although you were near
but at the same time
in some other place,
love may have been there
but I had to guess
most of the time,
and I was terrible at it
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Difficult
It’s tough to sit with this in a relationship. Sometimes the communication isn’t there. Sometimes it’s not for lack of trying, just other circumstances. It’s very sad but very devotional. I like that.
Tim
Yep, yep and yep! Thanks Tim.
Yep, yep and yep! Thanks Tim.
Best
Absolutely...
felt this one! There was this girl... and anyway, she didn't know I existed, let alone have a glance at me.
I like the title, it fits, "Partitioned" off from the same plane as you. The theme is good and one that could be visited from either side. It begins and ends well. ~ Geez.
.
The last line was a familiar
The last line was a familiar place for me on a number of occasions Geez, sigh... Partitions = things that divide us. Thank you for stopping by.
Best