ida
Aug 22, 2013

Parameters

Paragon expections
Lay heavily
Gasps form

Sweet summer breeze
Caress the madness
White sheers flutter
A cradled paradise
Unperceivable

Legions history
Form the view

Scents grasped
To swallow the fever
Paradigm inhales each thought

Tangled reflections
Seep
Unbidden

Kiss of history
Smears reason
Laying unbendable

Soft greens unseen
Sounds mystery unheard
Life unbearable

Swimming toward the other side

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: north ontario

Favorite Poets: esker

More from this author

Comments

BlueDemon77

A strong emotive piece. Did you mean to do a poem for the workshop? The form of this one doesn't match any of the workshop options. Strong work nonetheless.

Ron

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 8 months ago

Have read this slowly a couple of times and it is very good, just a couple of things I have picked up in the reading:-
Paragon expections (Did you mean Expectations)
White sheers flutter ( Did you mean Sheets)
Scents grasped ( I am bad, I don't like scent, always go for Perfume)
Keep up this style, it is hard to write short lines and retain the message.
Take care out there, Yours Ian.T