It feels so disconcerting
this paradigm shift,
that tramples through my thoughts like, shadows gray;
if I start to yield a comfort
because a spin doctor's around,
then my resolve has just begun it's sad, decay.
You may completely know this
shearing of our ledgers,
it happens as with a whisper at the dawn;
yet, everyone still heard
each perpetuated lie,
they can start, & end the shearings' on our lawns.
No sadder fate exists in life
than being drawn, & led astray;
and tricked, as if we're just a bunch of cattle;
those of us with wits in place
must pull a bit more than our weight;
or we may never see past our first battle.
We must turn this all around
or end up grazing aimlessly,
we must believe "we really are the people"!
Accustomed to a liars grin
as we're jolted by their cattle prods,
they'll catalog each one of us as "sheeple"!
Comments
Doc
A very exceptional theme though the portrayal was not as clear as the word paradigm describes, as distinct concepts or thought patterns.
The theme seemed lost in a jumble, this is not as you usually write.
The theme can be sorted and the whole pie put into Stanzas it would break the flow and give better thought.
Sorry I am being blunt on this one, Yours Ian.T
sir ian....
...i greatly apologize for my tardy replyal, i've been gravely ill.
doing better, now. this poem was for a contest with a very specific prompt, with a limit to the ammount of lines it could have.
guess i don't do well within restraints.
thanx, again;
doc.
Doc
I hope that you are fully recovered now.
My wife is in Hospital at the moment with some unknown affliction hope that we have her home this week.
You take care of you, and not to worry about the odd write, this happens when boundaries are set and it restricts the poem,
Yours Ian.T
sir ian....
...hope all turns well, with your lady love. i understand your concerns, and can only hope to ever glimpse, of such a gem.
i would like to hear your input as to the ending of my submission for the story-telling in verse workshop.
it's called, The Visitors. the reason for the alternating small, and large caps was to show the writing progress.
thanx,
doc.