raj
Mar 10, 2014

Paper Boats

I'm drawn to the glade side brook
which had eavesdropped
on our serenading nook,
when blades of grass
stroked intimate poems
on our skins.

I now cleanse all moss
on the stone washed bank
and scribble our duets
on paper boat quills
drifting on goose bumps
beneath my tweeds.

While the wind dies down
from my quickening breath
the paper boats drown
in my misty gaze,
before I retreat
to my lonesome glade.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

loved

loved

11 years 1 month ago

so much
that I have myself become
an imagination
reading your poetry
now I have decided to abandon
as without metaphors and simile
there can be composed
no poetry
and I know none how to
So what do you say I should do?
raj
friendly advice will do

R

Thank you for your appreciative comment. Frankly I consider my self to be on a learning curve and try to pick up ideas while reading the approach and ideas of others here, though I refrain from copying. Good to know this poem created the imagery for you which was the objective.

Regards,