Pantry proselytism

Food and drink
comestible edible potable drinkable
sustenance habit reward
attraction diversion abstraction
whet stimulate satisfy
revive stir passion creativity
conviviality
fill unmet appetites

Sweetbreads neither sweet nor bread
headcheese has no cheese
plum pudding has never contained any plums
Hoppin’ John is black-eyed peas
a secret ingredient can be bacon grease
chipped beef on toast
SOS not an emergency signal
always in a military mess Thursday evenings

Chinese chopsticks are blunt
Japanese pointed
cloves effective as mothballs
a lemon wedge gets rid of garlic breath
bay leaves keep away bugs
salt to cooking water keeps asparagus green
paper towels wick moisture from stored cut fruit and veggies
worst you can do to fish is cook it to death

Tipping ice cream on you a pro pickpocket’s diversion
four tablespoons to a quarter cup
make for simple conversion
parsley is better than mouthwash and among the highest in glutathione
claimed to inactivate at least 30 cancer causing agents
while tomatoes the slouches
only prevent cancer of the pancreas
with their active ingredient lycopene

Green tea is said to help prevent strokes
lavender aroma helps people stay alert
while its tea calms an upset stomach
and helps to ease a headache
ants avoid mint
but crushed and applied to a person’s forehead
it relieves headaches and tension
and the tea calms an upset stomach

Bananas good for ulcers in humans
fresh garlic’s allicin attacks numerous fungi and bacteria
onions in dog food keep worms away
while a teaspoonful of vinegar in every quart of water
keeps fleas and ticks away permanently
and fido spot and rover don’t mind the taste
but remember if you try any of these
there are no guarantees