Indulge yourself in this fictitious tale
About a girl who removed a lid.
Upon said lid’s abrupt removal
She convinced herself of just approval.
The box she was terribly teased by
Of which the lid was quickly removed,
Proves to us all that temptation’s not easy.
This was Pandora’s box of deadly sins
There were seven of them in total
Because she was mistaking hopeful.
As a result of her hope in the box we can’t cope.
We’re human and our lives are tormented
All because the girl was greedily tempted.
She admits to her failing - she was brave, it was scary.
Like all humankind - she could be bad and be kind
She thought twice but gave in, hence the sins.
Just like us all - each race, the rich and the poor,
She just wished with such guilt, that she'd relented.
Apr 15, 2024
Pandora's Box
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Hello Michael
I love the story of Pandora. The wallpaper on my phone is from a painting of her opening the box. I felt this, after a promising few lines became a bit of a jumble with bits running into each other. I would like to see an edit, pruned down and clearer punctuation. Alex.
Thanks for the feedback. I'll
Thanks for the feedback. I'll work on what you said.
Hi Michael...
I remember the story of Pandora and the Forbidden Box,
from high-school and again in college. I like that you chose this story to tell,
but I feel like you have become a bit lost with the sequence or maybe just over-explanation
of the whole. See if you can't maybe combine two or more lines to reduce the confusion.
~ Geezer.
.